Today I want to tell you about the stages that every foreigner who comes to Czech Republic and studies Czech goes through. Well, not everyone, but some. But for sure - all those who will read this text.
Stage 1. Delusion
This is when you arrive and it seems to you that you can already speak Czech without problems - you walk in a store, you can buy all sorts of groceries. And in general - there's no problem, you just need to learn the alphabet and how to pronounce letters. And absolutely all words that are written as in Russian - are the same, and everything that's written differently - must be German. An absolutely brilliant theory, only completely wrong. And then you go to the doctor for the first time and understand that all your knowledge didn't help at all.
Stage 2. Hatred
After the first disappointments when you realized that this isn't as simple as it seemed, you start to hate Czech. Because all this is just some kind of crap - cases, genders, and verbs of movement that you've never encountered before, even if you know Latin or German. And why the hell do I need Czech - after all, on the street you can manage with English. But if you continue to study and not quit here - you eventually get to stage 3.
Stage 3. Hatred continues
But it's a slightly different story. Here you've already learned several thousand words and can quite calmly read some article from newspaper without a dictionary. But it's just that you absolutely can't speak on random topics like construction, medicine, or repair. And this means you need to study and remember more thousands of words. But there's a different problem. Czechs don't want to speak with you in Czech. Yes, they hear that you study it and encourage you, but mostly they just want to improve their Russian or English. Or they think you'll understand better if they speak in English to you. This is pure hatred - because you have knowledge, but can't apply it.
Stage 4. Understanding
Finally! You calmly communicate with Czechs in ordinary life. At this stage you probably already work in Czech or somewhere where you use Czech, which means you're constantly practicing. And in general, it seems like it couldn't get any better. You already know enough to live. You're finally ready to get Czech citizenship, and also you're just happy that you've accomplished such a difficult task.
Stage 5. Madness
And in general - in this language there are two, no, three futures, several pasts, and all these genders and cases and other crap that you constantly get confused in. But the main thing is that there exist many words that sound the same but mean different things. Or they mean the same, but there are several ways to say it. And most importantly, even Czechs themselves don't always agree with other Czechs on what is correct and what isn't. Madness!