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3 Words About Marketers

Last year we started using the word "bezel-less" quite often.

Today there are a few professions that really piss me off: the worst are of course SEO specialists; then real estate agents, HR people and especially marketers.

They piss me off especially because:

a) marketing doesn't exist

b) they say it supposedly exists and that they do something and that it's a dream job and that there are books about it and that romance and blablablabla

It's precisely because of marketers that every startup has eight articles on its company blog (supposedly this is the only way people will find those pages). It also has a Facebook profile that collects about 11 fans in 5 years (but yes, that's 3 more than my neblog in one day, where the hell are you, why so few??? give a like right now at https://www.facebook.com/neblog.cz/)
The last post contains something like "here's our logo, we're great, right?".

But yes, these are the worse ones. The better marketers do it differently. They look for the "most interesting and most anticipated" in their product and start fucking our eyes and ears with this. Sorry, emphasizing.

In 2017 it's really hard to come up with something new with phones: everything already exists. The third camera on the back (yes, the second one was there long ago) no longer evokes any emotions and all marketers, of course, want a reaction "like when they showed us the iPod".

When marketers have nothing to say, they start using numbers. Numbers (for example in titles) help sell: "20-MegaPixel camera", of course, sounds better than "stupid device that can take unnecessarily large photos in quality from the Lumière brothers' era". But they start using numbers only when they make sense even to inhabitants of Moravian villages. Therefore at the beginning it's always just "powerful processor", and only with time does the powerful processor become an "eight-core giant". By the way, homework for those smart among you: think about why 15 years ago for example they used "800 MHz CPU", and today nobody writes about those MHz by accident.

Do you think they use this bullshit only today? Let's go back to 1998.

A long time ago they wrote for example "large color monitor". Then even hillbillies understood that 15 inches is not much, but 17 is really good.

Here's an example of how the ancestors of today's marketers worked. When they sold CRT monitors, they measured the diagonal including the frame. Why? This way it's 17 inches. Interesting but is that neither then nor today does anyone know how much an inch measures, and people don't usually go to the store with a ruler either.

This is how the word "bezel-less" reached us. As an example, let's take the latest iPhone X - it's sold as bezel-less. De-facto we're interested in the so-called "Screen-to-body Ratio", that is, the ratio of display to bezel. As a buyer you probably don't want to hear yet that your new bezel-less phone has that ratio at 82.9%. That's about 4/5. This doesn't sound so sexy anymore, does it? (if you're interested, here's more info: https://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/bezel-less-phone-comparison/)

But let's bet - in 2018 someone will make a phone that has that ratio 90+%. This will already be 9/10, and this can be used for advertising purposes. And I came up with this for free.

What from this? Probably nothing, I just wanted to remind you that marketers are assholes. And when your buddy says he's a marketer, don't buy him beer anymore.

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