June 2017
Bratislava is a special city that deserves almost the most photos in one review. Now you'll find out why.
Going from Prague by train about 4 hours. First thing a tourist sees
Feels like you ended up in a village at grandma's
Once every 10 minutes, of course, you come across beauty, but you need to search and look closely
Bratislava straight up yells in your face that it's Europe
But from Europe here only the stars. So go to the crossing, plebeian
We have business here
Europe
Bratislava is falling apart
Attention! European Union Plaster falling
Sign
Park where there's nothing
Square where there's nobody
Crossing you'll never cross
Night bus designation in "night" font. Interesting thing - the way of attaching signs
City is so shitty that on the stand you need to write that it's a stand
But once every 10 minutes there is beauty
Trams look like shit because of advertising
Not all, of course, but what difference does it make
Slovak language, by the way, is absolutely understandable to those who know Czech
Inside Kaluga 1996
Couldn't touch with hands even before the great pandemic
In Slovakia only chicks are OK
Well and devices for freshening up.
Okay, Bratislava isn't rock bottom, but among capitals - so-so
But once every 10 minutes it's beautiful
UFO bridge
Everything the city has
Old town can be walked in 5 minutes
PUBLIC LIBRARY
CENTER
Looks like shit, honestly, straight up nothing to look at
Path to the castle - there I saw at least some people. In Prague in similar places there'd be a million tourists
Háček over the letter L in the word dumplings
The castle itself - well square
And from it views of panels open up. Cringe
In general my idea was that I was going to a food festival
At the festival you buy coupons for money, I remember that like for 6 euros there were 5 coupons, and food, mostly, cost like 6 coupons, meaning you had to spend more. I ate some random potato and beer, total shit and expensive
Schoolkid sign. Lol.
Trash bin and trolleybus
Europe
Button in shit. Around the crossing within a kilometer radius not a soul
After half a day of walking discovered the obvious for myself - where's the Prague cobblestone?
Now this is what I call a food festival
Even the ATM doesn't want to see Bratislava and put on a cap
CROSS HERE EVERYTHING IS BAD
This bad
Oops, metro
Nah, store in underpass
Oops, casino. In the middle of the center
Main central street. Cringe
Asian
I think I lived in this hostel. Nothing special, costs 700 crowns
Ticket vending machine, we'll return to it later
Once every 10 minutes beauty. Joke
Here's beauty
And here's casino
And here..epithets run out
Hostel for almost 30 euros per night
Europe
Food in restaurant - OK, but noticeably more expensive than Czechia
Tits! In the very center
This is already the second day, and I got lucky - hit beauty once every 10 minutes
And then bam - and sexy dance in the historic center
Rudiments of reason
What these booths are - still a mystery
Came to the station to go to Devin - beautiful castle right near the city
At the station you can buy cheese
2 minutes till the bus, need a ticket. Try to figure out which button to press if you're going, like, 22 minutes. Missed the bus
Tits in the city center
And German tourist mobile
City, in short, so-so
Impression of the day - for buying cigarettes they give a lighter for free
Chess (for those who didn't get it)
Let our children return home (and why the fuck, if they live in Bratislava?)
Culture
Once every 10 minutes...
Best impression of the last day. Slovak girls - the only normal phenomenon in Slovakia
Still the center
Convenient for living (I remind you, here food and life in general is even a bit more expensive than in Prague)
Want to leave Bratislava
That day I gave up and bought food at the food court (I remind you, came here because of the food fest)
Discovered that patriotic "Bohemia" chips here are called "Slovakia". Patriotism is a lie
Best impression of the whole trip. Washed hands, dried hands
And I went home by bus (bus station in the ass-end of the world, as always)
Nearby is a district of new houses - Bratislava's only hope
Finally, another piece of Bratislava
Of all the cities I've been to, Bratislava is definitely a candidate for the main shithole.