Once I did a DNA test and off we go...
As of 2022 practically nobody knows about publicly available DNA tests - we're discussing feminism, wars, financial crises and idiots on electric scooters here.
I realize that descendants even in 10 years will already be laughing that grandpa didn't get it, but still.
Starting from afar - in our time you can swab a cotton swab on your cheeks (real talk), spit in a test tube or something else from this series, send it to a lab, and they'll supposedly tell you what percent you're Native American.
At the moment this is the application of these tests that comes to mind for most people, despite there being a bit more sense in them.
Where, What, How?
Let's start with the main thing: you can buy a test almost anywhere, but depending on location in one firm or another you need to pay more for delivery, or you'll get more options (debatable), or some other happiness from the category "your DNA will be added to the DB, so now you won't rape anyone"
Specifically in Czech Republic specifically in 2021 the best option for me was the myheritage site - with a discount it came out around 50 euros. I'll say right away, IMHO, it's worth it (I'll write later why).
What to pay attention to?
- most important: the site should be able to output test results in raw format
- further purely by your wishes, if there's a raw file, you don't really need anything else, so take what's cheaper and where there are simply more people on the site
The Tests Themselves
Briefly - collect some saliva in a test tube, send to the lab, wait a month and voila. Important - on some sites delivery to the lab is already included in the final price, I advise using exactly those
MyHeritage Results
After a month of waiting the most "important" knowledge I got about myself looks approximately like this:
Specifically on my heritage there's also a list of people with DNA close to yours, but in my case there are only three and a half eighty-year-old German grannies who are my "fifth cousins". Thanks, useful.
What next?
You scream "WOOOW, I didn't expect at all", hug your new Finnish buddies, stop being a Nazi because we're all people, all that.
But this is where the most interesting only begins.
Most important - download the raw dna file. This is, like, ones and zeros, IT things, in short. Feminists won't understand.
It can be uploaded to a bunch of sites, and I'll update their list as worthy ones appear.
genomelink.io
The site lets you upload your file for free and shits out "all kinds of interesting things"
Mainly, interesting = inaccurate, like for example that I'm a Viking:
Or that I'm kinda dumb and read poorly, but memory's good:
Or that I'll have few wrinkles but will have bags under my eyes
Well or that I rarely get angry and I'm an extrovert, got it, faggot?
In other words, the free version of the site is purely for fun with friends
The only plus - if you confirm once a week how accurate the data is, you can get a bit more assumptions:
Here's what the tarot cards showed in my case (clickable):
brain:
food:
physical:
mental:
sports
The more you complete, the more "goodies". For example, I got the world's most useless sports report, from which I learned that I should exercise, gotcha.
After a few more days I found out that I'm a Viking and you're not.
promethease
Further a bit more serious - for money (10 bucks) we can look at disease risks
3 things to understand:
- risk doesn't mean it will happen, it only means you need to be more careful about specifically these things
- many studies are based on small samples, poorly done, are simple attempts to gather likes. In other words, the field is in its infancy, so information on the site should be treated skeptically. In 50 years it'll definitely be better.
- already in 2022 there are rumors that DNA isn't a sentence, that during life your lifestyle affects your health (didn't pay 10 bucks for nothing to learn this) and even DNA itself. In other words, be simpler, young padawan, you'll die anyway
With this out of the way.
The site looks exactly as a site made by two and a half invalids who simply wanted to compare people's DNA with studies, cheap and cheerful, should look.
They spit out thousands of matches with studies, figure out yourself what specifically interests you. At the top there's a filter where you can type conditionally "lungs" and find out what specifically you have there.
Results are divided into "bad", "neutral" and "good", all very conditional because open source
So I, for example, found out that in my case pneumonia risk is slightly higher than others
That I'm a man:
That I have 7 times higher risk of becoming a bald man:
That I'm most likely a carrier of HLA-B27 antigen
And that maybe I won't even die from heart disease, unlike most
Or will die:
But most important:
Conclusions about the site are these: if you read it carefully, you can accidentally get depression cancer. Obviously the brain only sees bad things.
Use it therefore very carefully: filter by what already hurts to tell the doctor about increased risks and look at real risks (tens of times, not 1.2)
gedmatch
Another site to die from excess non-design
You can get contacts of people with whom you have more or less family ties. The only drawback - nobody fucking needs this site, so for me matches were found maximum 40cm long (i.e. such distant relatives that worse than you, bro)
There are a couple free tools, but presentation of results is worse than other sites. On the other hand, more detailed:
You can find out, for example, whether your parents were relatives:
Or how much Neanderthal you are:
