One of my favorite genres of contemporary Czech prose are articles about Russians. It's a popular topic, so everyone must write that all real estate in Vary is bought by Russians. And of course about how some Russian dude or lady hurt the author's feelings when they said with an ugly Russian accent "dobryj děň" instead of the correct beautiful "dobrý den".
And today I found one such article and I'll read it together with my cats. And comment.
I found the article here https://janprazak.blog.idnes.cz/blog.aspx?c=601573
Right from the start it's clear it'll be great.
Before the trip to Karlovy Vary I explained to several of my friends that I didn't become a Russophile overnight, but that we're going there for a week's vacation with my wife. Similarly to how we go to other spa towns.
Cywe. Watch out at CTU, there are 2 students from Algeria, don't accidentally become a Muslim.
We stayed on the outskirts of the city near the road to Nová Role in a small guesthouse. I asked the owner (a Czech) how they actually have it with those Russians and what the locals say about it, if they managed to get used to them.
We learned that Russians plus Russian-speaking people especially from the south of the former USSR own over seventy percent of properties in the spa center. From the authorities they had and still have ensured "good conditions." If necessary, they don't hesitate to resort to mafia practices against local entrepreneurs. And ordinary people? They supposedly will never be able to reconcile with their presence.
I'm not planning to do business in Karlovy Vary and I don't intend to start anything with "heroes from the east".
Imagine you're the owner of a small guesthouse (a Czech). Some gentleman comes and says: Hello, so what's it like with those Russians? Mafia I mean. Eastern heroes.
But yeah. Let's continue.
I must admit that during the short week-long not very deep probe I was mostly sad, a few times angry and once it was even instructive. But about that at the end.
First contact I had when buying a weekly MHD ticket near the center. In the one-person queue a Russian-speaking spatially prominent matron tried to cut in front of me.
Matron, dude. But I'm already looking forward to the end of the article, the deep probe can't be boring.
"Again those Russian Neanderthals." This is how a waitress in a restaurant near the market relieved herself after a group of Russians burst in there. One of them immediately after arrival threw a hundred crowns on the bar counter and loudly demanded something.
Russian Neanderthals, blyat. I'd be interested what that gentleman wanted. A ticket? Maybe the matron cut in front of him too?
We came to a bistro at Svatoš Rocks just outside the city and ordered food that was enough to put on plates and place on the counter. The serving lady (a Czech) addressed us in Russian.
Lady(Czech): Again those Neanderthals, kurwa mac. So zdravstvujtě. Guten, dude, tag.
In the district called Rybáře (several stops from the center) we managed to discover a pub
...
To the question of how they have it there with Russian guests, we got the answer: "This is a Czech pub, they don't come here."
-Hello sir, what will you have?
-Listen, nothing. What's it like here with Russians? I mean those Neanderthals. Doesn't the matron come here?
We went to Svatoš Rocks, weren't sure about the way, and so we asked a passing young lady if we were going the right way. She was silent for a moment and then briefly answered "yes, you're going the right way." Her Czech had a clear Russian accent and the tone of her voice revealed that she was ashamed of her origin. Or more precisely for how many of her compatriots behave.
The author definitely has linguistic madskillz if he can recognize a "clear Russian accent" from "yes, you're going the right way". In Russia we have a great TV show "Battle of Psychics", where participants compete in talking with the dead and reading minds. The author would win a million rubles if he really can recognize shame for one's origin and behavior of compatriots from 3 words. Wow, but then why didn't he understand what that hero wanted in the pub for a hundred?
And unfortunately the article ended with this. But even better is the discussion. What about this:
This gentleman could write a whole book. But he won't. He's afraid of the matron.
These articles are really luxury and I'm glad I learned Czech and have the opportunity to read this.