Video version of the story:
Why and What For
As of 2022, I admitted to myself: social media algorithms know better than me what I like.
Unfortunately, in no case was this used for my benefit. When I noticed myself watching TikToks and Facebook ads instead of working, I didn't stress much. But when for a whole year, close and not-so-close people endlessly discussed whether it's okay to kill people (trying to figure out which ones are OK and which aren't), that's when I understood that only I should care about my psychological state.
For 10 years I've been writing this blog, but I also have a regular paper diary. When I felt sad for a couple months straight and behaved like a complete asshole to loved ones, I wondered - what can be done? The answer came when I started closely observing my mood.
It hit me when I started getting angry at my girlfriend after sitting on LinkedIn and reading programmers' opinions about war. Where opinions came from on a job site - mystery to me. But I was sure that since I was looking at vacancies, I was doing well. Click, everything fell into place. It became clear - there are many opinions and emotions, but I'm alone. That day I made a clear choice: from this day on, I will be attentive to what and how I consume on the internet.
The article and video look easy and obvious, but don't be fooled: I spent about 200 hours of my life thinking, fearing, trying and making mistakes. I'm sure you'll understand me if I inspire you to at least start this journey with me.
One more piece of advice right away: find someone you'll allow to directly tell you that you're stuck. A person nearby who will say "you've been on TikTok for an hour" and whose opinion you value - is priceless in this adventure. I sadly admit: there are people around whom your hand reaches for the phone even if you didn't want it before them. What to do in this case - everyone should think for themselves.
Self-Control
The first attempt to fix everything was "willpower" and "self-control". Short version - it didn't work.
Long version: when you start trying to leave social media, many will tell you to just be smarter. Try it, won't work.
The reason is that you need to be smarter not than yourself, but than thousands of the smartest people on the planet who did everything to make you sit on their sites as long as possible. I'm smart, but the first step needed to recover is to admit you're dumber than people who create social networks.
Social Media Usefulness and FOMO
Second thing you'll face - fear of missing opportunities or important news. No shit, friends told me I'd miss the start of nuclear war if I stopped checking Telegram channels daily.
It's one of two things: either believe me, or carefully start with one social network. My opinion: the worst thing you can do is find reasons to stay on social media with standard settings and not come up with your own rules. Examples of my rules I'll write for each social network below.
Notifications - The Foundation
First thing to accept from day one: notifications have no place on your phone. Without this, nothing will work.
Here you need to understand and accept one simple truth: notifications = someone needs something from you. The app, colleagues, friends. There's nothing in life that can't wait, except closest people and their urgent problems. Agree on how to contact you, for example, get a second SIM card or allow call sounds only for five contacts.
Deleting Apps
One obvious goal - we need to unlearn holding the phone constantly. Obvious way - make it uninteresting to do.
I did it like this: I deleted almost all non-standard apps from my phone. Left only what's needed for work (boring) or what's needed on the street (Apple Pay or electronic transit pass, for example).
Mistakes I made in the process:
- even "boring" apps become interesting. I tap on Lidl app several times a day and look at store discounts. Yes, better than asses and tank discussions, but not ideal. Likely can be solved by carrying cards non-electronically, but that's later, doesn't bother much now
- I must have work email on mobile, it's a contract obligation. When there was nothing to do, I went into work email during non-work time. Solution - in Outlook mobile settings you can set a password before the app opens. Helps a bit, should change the password from time to time so you don't get used to it and enter automatically
10 different addresses, apps and email sites - evil. I solved it as follows:
- bought paid email on mailbox.org
- bought my personal domain
- set redirect from all mailboxes to one, moved all old emails
- moved all accounts to new email - now everything in one place
- fiercely monitor everything that comes to email. Unsubscribe from boring crap, create rules for automatic sorting into folders so inbox has only important stuff
Side effect: less targeted advertising. Turns out free email analyzes your messages. Paid - doesn't.
Started by thinking: how is this network even useful to me?
Mental gymnastics claimed it's how I see what friends are up to. Asked myself more seriously and realized I know what my friends are really doing without Instagram. And on Instagram they have something else anyway, nothing to do with real life.
What's bad about the network:
- makes you work for likes, you get used to looking "right"
- lots of asses and chicks, can't concentrate
- look at women as objects, forget what and how to do with them in real life
- stalking encouragement
- accumulating old photos, cultivating narcissism
Conclusion was unambiguous: Instagram, see you later!
I didn't delete the account, but deleted all photos, unfollowed everyone, deleted all chats. The profile looks like this:
If anyone worries whether I lost something or someone - in 2 years exactly 0 people wrote me. Advise deleting and not regretting anymore.
The network-catalyst of the whole process, as I said earlier.
Pros:
- the only place to find a job (in other places in 10 years I never found work or interviews)
- by default HRs message here when they have something interesting specifically for you
Cons:
- incredibly dull content, written for "something you won't get fired for"
- adult audience, meaning abundance of military experts, nationalism and minority hatred in comments
- off-the-charts toxicity and passive aggression
Since pros outweigh cons, can't leave the network. Task - remove cons. Obviously, LinkedIn's problem is its news feed.
Can't just turn it off, prepare to manually work for a couple hours.
The only way:
1) go to followers link
2) if "follow" button is gray, click it and make it blue:
Result - LinkedIn news feed no longer exists, you're magnificent. Downside - need to immediately unfollow when adding new friends.
Pikabu, Reddit and Other Boards
No account needed to read articles. Accounts serve 2 roles:
- karma, rating
- saving articles
- comments
Main downside of all boards: almost guaranteed that 90% of content will be about current events. When the world is good, probably sites are great. In real life - hotbeds of negative emotions.
Almost all positive qualities of these networks can be replicated by saving interesting links in your notes, so we get rid of everything and forget. If something's needed, just Google it, works great.
TikTok
Same logic as Instagram.
pros:
- once in a hundred years interesting and useful videos
cons:
- body objectification
- training desires
- seeking quick satisfaction
- very smart algorithms
Pros don't outweigh anything at all, so my opinion - delete and forget forever.
VKontakte
pros:
- old friends
- old chats
- groups that don't exist elsewhere (for example, Prague flea market in my case)
cons:
- 0 interesting content
- possible propaganda
- everything you said can be used against you
In my understanding, there were some pros. It was hard for me, but I deleted all old chats. I used to like being nostalgic about the past.
As soon as I did this, a couple days passed and it became clear VK no longer interests me, so actions are:
1) clean entire account, it should remain empty
2) delete all old messages. If there are active conversations, redirect them to one location
3) delete app from phone, log out in browser, forget
In a year VK was absolutely not useful to me, none of old friends wrote. Can delete calmly.
pros:
- foreign friends only there
- from time to time interesting discussions and content
- additional functions without good alternatives: events, marketplace
cons:
- very smart news feed you sit in endlessly
- likes and need to work for them
- very good advertising algorithms
Conclusions: pros are significant, can't delete. To overcome the feed, logic very similar to LinkedIn, prepare to spend several hours:
1) go through friends list manually, unfollow uninteresting and toxic people by instructions. Unfollow doesn't mean we delete the friend, i.e. he won't know about our actions
2) news feed becomes consistently quality, but Facebook starts offering very sticky ads. Solution: train yourself to say "no" to Facebook, otherwise it'll be all football and tits:
Facebook turned out to be a useful network for hanging in closed groups with Czech acquaintances and finding new hobbies. Unfortunately, you'll have to pay by manually forbidding it to push low-quality clickbait ads.
Messengers
I started with 5 chat apps on my phone, I went through each when I picked up the phone. Decided to leave only one, chose Telegram since I communicated most there.
Was afraid to delete WhatsApp and lose contacts with people, spoiler alert - lost and don't regret. Some moved to Telegram, they were already there, just silent.
More difficult stuff: today messengers are also channels.
Action instructions:
1) turn off all internal notifications, even badge numbers. Go into messenger only when other tasks are done. Just because the service implies "instant reaction" doesn't oblige you to do so. When there's time, you'll answer.
2) delete all old chats with strangers so you don't masturbate to nostalgia. If needed, they'll write again
3) leave only close people
4) unsubscribe from channels by your criteria. My criterion: if author decides to comment on news, I give exactly one more chance. If continues hyping - unsubscribe and forget. Left about 5 channels that don't allow themselves to speak off-topic from what I originally subscribed for
5) if strangers write - read, delete without answer. Direct strangers to email initially, as this will make person think before writing. Spoiler - stopped writing.
Voice Messages
Separate category. Simply - no.
Person who sent you a voice message wants to save their time at the expense of yours. No other definitions.
Simple rule - receive voice message, don't open it, don't care. Absolutely everyone gets used to it and stops sending voice messages.
YouTube
What I'm still fighting with
pros:
- interesting content quite often
- podcasts for filling time
- I make videos on YouTube myself, can learn
- educational content, content in foreign languages
cons:
- authors who only care about views
- "current" content
- algorithms impose tits and shorts
Conclusion: for now decided to keep and try to make recommendations work for me, not against me.
Instructions:
1) unsubscribe from those who can't stick to their channel's topic and only produce "reacts"
2) after unsubscribing start cleaning recommendations: actively like what you want to see more
3) even more actively dislike and ask not to show similar videos:
Do this several times and recommendations transform. Only flaw - YouTube is still obliged to offer you at least 10 videos at once. Not guaranteed that even one will be on topic. There's always danger of clicking on tits in leggings.
Unfortunately, how to avoid this - I assume, no way. No solution yet, will keep looking.
If you have additions, will be glad to hear. Write to email.