Summer 2014
You might want me to say "in Brno", but everyone knows it's correct to say "in Brně"
I first visited Brno in summer after courses in Podebrady. It just so happened that I got into Brno absolutely without exams and didn't even pay for the invitation.
Everyone who studies in Brno is extremely proud of it, because it's the second coolest city in Czechia. Despite the fact that there's one cool city in Czechia and it's Kladno
Impressions from 2014:
- gypsies at the station
- incomprehensible talking on the tram
- everyone drinks Starobrno
- on the outskirts of Brno there are decent houses
Thanks to Allah's will, for the next 8 years I wasn't in Brno
January 2022
Gypsies at the station remained, but turned out I'm not Czech either
Brno's center surprised me during the day by being alive. Those who've been to Czech towns will understand my surprise
Brno in Brno is revealed only in details
And the presence of Sberbank actually reveals Brno as the capital of the region
In places Brno turned out to be very not bad. And generally, from the first minutes it became clear that you can live here (with an asterisk)
The asterisk started being felt within an hour
Attention to these 2 cars (the thing on the left is called šalina by the way)
Parking in Brno at the moment is one of the worst in all of Czechia
Maybe it's unclear in the shot, but absolutely all cars in the photo are standing illegally, hazard lights on
Šalinas in Brno are covered with ads, this shouldn't be (ads all over the šalina look like face tattoos)
For someone unfamiliar with Brno the task is - how many of these cars are driving, and how many are standing? Answer - the van and everything behind it is standing illegally and everyone needs to go around them. This is simply unreal to see in Europe today, but it exists
In 2022 the reader understands, but I wonder if descendants will understand the graffiti's goal?
Besides šalinas in Brno there are trolleybuses (5 points to Brniffindor)
The parking situation in Brno is so unhealthy that cars are standing at the very top in the park. Praguers can't imagine this - imagine cars under the metronome
Incomprehensible picture for a Russian person, but these bags are for dog shit (in cities without degenerate drivers the bags are paper and subsidized from the budget)
Stops that don't exist in Prague, monumental
It would seem, in places Brno is not bad. But four-lane straight roads don't help the city. Very noisy and nobody's going to stop, it's accepted to stand at the crosswalk and let the driver pass
How not to do it and how to do it
1 meter for pedestrians, 3 meters for a car. Roads in the city, I remind you, are wider than your mom's ass. In the picture 2 people are squeezing onto a square meter, while 0 people are enjoying parking, this shouldn't be
You won't see such pictures in Prague for like 5 years now
You're already trained - think these guys are turning? No, the rightmost lane in Brno is for standing with hazard lights on (seriously, in the photo absolutely everyone here has them) I imagine the surprise of tourists occasionally driving into this lane and freaking out from local rules
This despite the fact that otherwise Brno is a great city
Oh yeah, one more flaw. Here it's nice of course, but apartment prices are like in Prague. Despite the fact that Prague is more like Vienna, and Brno is more like to Vienna.
But yeah, here was found a vending machine selling worms for fishing 24/7. Convenient, turned on hazard lights, bought a worm, and off to boyfriend to have fun
Why slow down before a green light? Oh right, he's not slowing down, he's standing (how stoned must city residents be to tolerate this - I have no idea)
I remind you, there's so much space in the city that all roads are like this (noise accordingly)
Quiet expensive neighborhoods look like this (oasis of silence)
And a bit of reality. 5 minutes away, by the way, are villas costing several million crowns and all sorts of other UNESCO heritage
In Brno lives the most passive-aggressive driving instructor. The number of exclamation marks per square meter is greater than the number of VK comments about how Brno has good universities
Suddenly - Brno is very good in the evening
No joke, possibly in the evening this is one of the best cities in Czechia by vibe
Not counting the black dick and bunch of drunk junkies
Transport runs here in the evening
And I went to the premiere of the movie "Mimořádná událost". Sat in the first row, saw the actors, could have drinks with them. This Brno feature isn't available to Prague, here people are a bit closer to each other
The hostel was memorable for the chandelier and the noise of šalinas
In the morning managed to walk around Brno's center a bit more, drank coffee, ate koláče. For this price in Prague it'll be better.
Next to the cafe was found Czechia's most aggressive toilet - you can't shake hands here
There are 5 gopniks here
And lingering is prohibited here
Otherwise, Brno's center is quite adequate and you can live here
Brno is a completely degraded city exclusively because of this:
Otherwise, almost good
In places really good
In places really very good
But with all this prices here shouldn't be Prague's, because the difference in comfort here is colossal
I would live in Brno after a complete reform of the transport system and after prices for life here become affordable not only to pensioners who got apartments in the 90s.
Next our path led to the famous to every Russian schoolchild Slavkov u Brna
July 2025
Brno in my head is a city of victorious cars. Nothing changed, basically, still a village through and through
Convenient
Crossing without traffic lights, by the way, needs to be done with a special prayer. Which you can learn while waiting for green at traffic lights
In an amazingly inhuman city - an amazingly good center
This time Špilberk was visited
Which is all like - a prison
But without prison, because everything's fake
Views are good
Brno's center is surprisingly not bad
Even though parking is needed even by those who with God's help park right at the temple, fucking blasphemers
And the cherry on top - a kratom vending machine for the smallest and neediest in the center
I'll write the first real compliment to Brno only when it stops pretending to be a parking lot
Gotta give credit - the Roma culture museum deserves a compliment, where they speak English absolutely without pretense, behave more hospitably than in the whole country and break all possible stereotypes