August 2026
A mini-ethnographic expedition through Poland. Not a single zapiekanka was harmed; weight gain: 2 kg
Kraków > Łódź > Poznań > Wrocław
You arrive in Poznań like that, with no expectations. Suddenly, the entire train empties out, and the platform is so packed you can’t even squeeze through. It takes five minutes just to get off. Crowds of people are everywhere. And a huge airplane is flying right at you, making a lot of noise. I guarantee that when you arrive in Poznań, this is exactly the balkans you’ll see
A couple of minutes later, the normal city begins
And a couple of minutes later, it ends—construction everywhere; they’ve completely forgotten about pedestrians
But after another 5 minutes or so, a decent city center begins
In the city center, it becomes clear that the average age here is about 15
And the city center is just as good as Krakow
But the biggest surprise is the crowds of schoolchildren everywhere
Other than that, nothing special so far
Except for the breathalyzer machine
(By “schoolchildren,” I actually meant schoolgirls)
A local quirk of the street signs—the signal quality in the corner. In reality, it’s an overdesigned way to indicate street directions using house numbers
The buildings, by the way, are in pretty good condition
It starts getting hot in the afternoon. By the way, I tried a local croissant—it was fat
You walk past a construction site to the local church
There, just like in the old days, are pay-to-use restrooms
Because there’s no magic here
When I was about 14, I saw some priests blessing a car in Kaluga, and some guy was slipping them 2,000 rubles through a handshake. I remember very clearly that, right then and there, I firmly decided that this part of religion is for assholes. For me, it’s simple: either show me a miracle, or go fuck yourself
But the city, on the whole, is okay
I mean, the city center
Rainwater tanks?
In the park, it became clear that if you’re looking for a schoolgirl and low housing prices, this is the place for you
But this definitely isn’t the place for you if you don’t like asshole mayors who allow planes to fly so low over the city center
